I'm pregnant with baby #3 and I'm going to chill out this time round!

Mother and Baby column

I'm pregnant with baby #3 and I'm going to chill out this time round!

Now I’m busy brewing a third child myself, I can’t help but think about Kate and the pressures that come with being the mother of a newborn. The royal couple always look so serene, happy and calm when they walk through those hospital doors mere hours after their latest arrival has graced the earth, even though they’re about
to be bombarded by the world’s media. They appear completely unfazed, but it must be quite an overwhelming time for them. Unless, rather cleverly, all they’re thinking
about during that public appearance
is going home, getting into their PJs, popping the kettle on and shutting
the world out for as long as possible. Getting those first photos taken as
soon as they can then allows them to breathe and privately start getting to know their child.

For most of us who aren’t royalty, we have the option to delay relatives and friends coming over until we’re ready to face the world – or can at least walk without wincing (it gets better, trust me). But do we? Do we tell our friends that we need to sleep when our babies sleep? Do we ask our mums to make us a cuppa instead of getting up and shuffling to the kitchen to feed her and our 5,000 guests? Nope. Especially not first time round.

I didn’t, anyway. Instead,
I ran around pretending to be Supermum because I wanted everyone to see I was on top
of this parenting malarkey.
I put far too much pressure
on myself when I should’ve accepted the offers of help
and just allowed myself to rest while getting to know my
baby. Because I didn’t do
that, I ended up with a nasty infection – not ideal when
all I really wanted to do was
impress everyone!

When I brought Buddy home, Tom made sure I chilled out more. I’d bring everything I might need for the day down with me in the morning so that I wasn’t traipsing up and down the stairs, and
we mostly kept guests to our immediate families. Not one friend grumbled, and we were free to sit and hold our new little family member as much as we liked without worrying about guests or keeping on top of the housework.

Third time round, I will be doing exactly the same, although with the ‘help’ of Buzz and Buddy keeping us entertained. I won’t be trying to show that I can do it all or feeding anyone other than my family, because, quite frankly, I have nothing to prove. And neither do you. Don’t feel pressured into feeling like you need to be washed, dressed in your Sunday best and have a full face of make-up on for guests. Don’t feel like you have to put on a show and remind people how wonderful you are – those that love you already know of your greatness. Now’s the time to properly introduce yourself to
your baby. Because, to him or
her, you are not only wonderful – you are the world.

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